Seasons of Change?

Today, i decided not to focus on food for a change…hahaahaha…today i’m going to write abt my work…!!! urghh….for those of you who know me, u would know that since i graduated, i’ve been working at my present company til today..that means i have been here for more than 3 years now..for obvious reasons, i will not mention which company it is…

anyway…when i first joined…i came here with a very enthusiastic attitude …i wanted to be the most hardworking and efficient employee for the company…there was a deep sense of loyalty i developed for the company..it was a classic “Live Company X, Die Company X” attitude i had…i quickly learnt the things needed, and also discovered how much of self satisfaction i could derive from the work place….over time, however tat enthusiasm slowly died down…work soon became ..work…my boss and i constantly could not see each other eye-to-eye when it comes to official work matters…i wanted to be quick, to the point and accurate…she wanted more than necessary, and often missing deadlines kind of attitude (how ironic coming from a boss, right?)…however, i always ended being on the receiving end whenever other ppl wanted to complain abt the missed deadlines and having to process more than necessary…

But that was not wat drove me over the edge to want to leave the company..what was worse were the physchological/ mental games my boss loves to have with me..one moment she’s nice to you, next moment she ignores you completely…one moment you are her wing person, next moment you are just indifferent to her…one moment she says you are to do work of your level (as a Senior Exec), next moment she gives you menial, administrative work to do..urghh…it’s not that i want to complain for doing these work..but worse, you end up doing everything in the department..instead of compensating you, she tells you we work not for money but for interest…hahaha….how silly is that..we all work for money (no matter how religious you are!!)…otherwise, what do i feed on…Grass?? Air??

It’s not liek i havent tried to discuss all this with my boss..but u know..it’s just not the same…i feel like saddam in the cartoon below(which describes perfectly how i feel when i am talking to my boss)…haha…

anyway, i wanted to leave the company…i was just not really happy…working more on an auto pilot mode…but i was also afraid to step out from my comfort zone…i’m already familiar with my work here…familiar with ppl here…and if i really endure all these for another, say 5 years, things might change and my boss will by then have retired….haha…

but after thinking through..i think its time for a change of environment…perhaps go out there and expand my abilities and skills more…it’s scary though..so, do help by praying for me…that more windows of opportunity will open up to me..and that i have the wisdom, strength and courage to take up a new challenge!!

Vvrroommm…(life zooming by…)

Life’s been a blur to me recently…since coming back from Brunei, I’ve been occupied mainly with work…for instance, yesterday I had to leave work only at 7.45 pm…to most of you, you’ll probably say “ok wa…still consider early”..however, to me this is definitely not the norm…i arrive at the office every morning at 7.30 am…and then I would start my work day all the way til 5.45 pm or 6 pm the latest…it takes me around another half an hour to 45 minutes to get home in the kind of traffic Malaysia has…and I would need to prepare dinner…by the time I eat my dinner, it’s really kind of late…and then I need to shower, unwind..and before you know it, it’s time to sleep..occassionally, I do get a bit of time to go out to do some grocery shopping..can’t do it during the weekends because supermarkets are all packed tight then..the carpark’s full, the lines at the counters are long, you’re packed in a sea of human beings, etc etc…

It’s tough living in Malaysia..everything you want to do, you wanna do it quick so tat you strive that balanced kind of lifestyle that you always fantasize abt..you wanna have a balanced work life, a good pay, the ability to spend time with your family, the ability to spend time with your friends, be in touch with what’s happening around you, be in touch with what’s happening in the world too, be able to play some sports to stay healthy and fit, be able to watch movies occasionally, be able to go traveling overseas, be able to go to church, do some charity work…etc etc….the list goes on….however, with work taking up more than half of your waking life, you cannot help wonder how that fantasy life is attainable…haha…

Enuff of hopeless, aimless complaints…I started my day thinking i wanna write abt my company’s annual dinner that was held last Sunday…at the Sunway Convention Centre and this year, we had a Japanese theme..not that any of us (besides the decorations or ushers) were dressed in anything close to that…but nevertheless, I still had fun…threw on an old dress…put on some make up..haha…thank goodness my frens tot i looked alrite..haha…

It was indeed a huge (with 4000 ppl!!!), merry and colourful event…i had to wait at the lift for a good 15 minutes before i could take it to go up to the convention centre…after months of preparations from the company, and the anticipation, I am glad I did enjoy the event …there were so many vibrant colours…the dancers, singers, and even models…anyway..i did not take much pics..but i’ll still leave you with a few of the pics tat i took that nite..enjoy!!

Hungry Morning…

it’s not even 9 am yet and i am already planning wat to have for lunch later…my stomach is already growling fiercely despite having a bowl of porridge earlier…

urghh..i’ve got so much work piled up on my desk…so sick of work….just one thing after another…..

why does Friday look so near and yet so far…..guess i m in a pretty grouchy, complaining mood….how am i going to survive this day.. *sigh* someone..pls help me..

Continue to have faith in God.. ~!!

Wow wow…it’s finally Friday today… wat a tremendous week it has been this week for me…on Monday, I was all prepared to start packing and then shifting down to KL by the end of the week for work…also, this Friday was also my only other colleague’s last day with us…I tot to myself on Sunday tat i could handle this..after all, i did have a few couple of months to prepare mentally…

come Tuesday afternoon and my boss informed me that we were not to shift..a wave of reflief came on me instantly…i was so happy when i heard the news…i tot to myself…yeah…God is so good, u know…i no longer have to worry abt making it on time for Cell Group on Fridays, missing out on CG outings on weekdays, no more increased travel costs, traffic jams, parking problems..etc…yea…but then the joy was short-lived…my regular lunch partners, both julie and vincent, still had to move down to KL…tat triggered another wave of emotions…

as they were all leaving yesterday for the new place, i couldnt help but feel more sad than happy that i was staying back here…moreover, today is my colleague’s last day here too…i cannot remember the last time i felt so miserable…but then, i wanna continue to have faith in my God..i know that He has a great plan for me ahead…He always does and He proved Himself once again in my dear fren, Sue Anne’s life just yesterday..so i shall continue to hang unto His promises..i truly can’t wait to unravel wat He has in store for me..Hallelujah!

Moving down to KL….*sigh*

hmm…today is Friday and yet, i can’t help but feel a bit down..

must be becos the day for my department to move down to KL is becoming a reality soon…

it’s funny how when i first came to my company for an interview here in the current building in Sri Damansara..my first impression of the place was so not exactly favorable…it was a buiding set in the industrial zone areas…coming to work was a challenge…you have to brave yourself against the constant speeding X-tra huge lorries and trucks and crater-sized pot holes (hehe…ok..i’m exaggerating here)…but after a while, you kinda get used to the place and there were many positive points staying here…first of all, due to the number of heavy vehicles on the roads, my driving skills improved tremendously…i was no longer so intimadated by their presence around my little mini kelisa…next, i found a lot of new eateries…there is a huge variety of eating places here…watever you wan, u name it..and all at a pretty reasonable price….and also, driving to and away from work was always a breeze due to the opposite traffic conditions…i could always reach home within 20 minutes….and finally, and most important of all, parking at my current premises was FREE!!!

next week onwards, i have to start either driving down to KL or start taking the LRT…urghhh…i have to pay a daily per entry fee of RM6 for parking…and if i take the NPE home, tat’s another RM3.60….tat makes it a total of RM9.60 per day travelling expenses excluding the mileage/ petrol…though situated at the metropolitan city area, but the expenses incurred are definitely burning a hole in my pockets….and the traffic jams that I’ll probably have to be stuck in…moreover, i dun even know where to have lunch at my new place..haha…hope there are some good eateries to offset all the inconveniences involved in the shift…i sure hope tat things will become better becos currently, everything looks rather bleak for me ..haha..so pray for me guys and wish me all the best…

The end of every tunnel is LIGHT~!!

A difficult time can be more readily endured if we retain the conviction that our existence holds a purpose – a cause to pursue, a person to love, a goal to achieve.

That was what John Maxwell, a former pastor and now a CEO of his own company, said. Simply put, only you can determine your own victory or defeat in every challenge that you come across. And in order to do that, we need to discover who we really are deep inside ourselves, and then we need to develop ourselves (personality-wise, character wise and most importantly, our spirituality). For if not, how could we then know what we want in life or know how to love and live for love.

Take me for instance…work has always been tough for me…I m kinda underpaid for the kind of work I do.. i end up taking the blame for the errors that others have done…u know..the list goes on…and well..there are days I reallee do wanna just quit..but then again, i would always remind myself tat if I were to do tat, it would mean tat I quit the challenge that was put before me…tat most likely would have made me a better person…hence, by quitting, I would not have the chance to learnt to be better but instead, I become nothing except a quitter…and I dun think I can stomach tat kind of label on myself….and well, to be brutally honest, if tat doesn’t convince me to endure the difficulties I faced at work, I just remind myself tat i need the money to survive!!

Hence, I always have the faith the faith that God is a good God and that He has nothing but good plans and a future of hope for me…and also, I have a great husband who is always waiting to cheer me up and help me forget wat ever problems I may have..I have friends both at and outside work who are always empathizing with me with watever work challenges i have…a beautiful house to go back home to..So friends, if ever you have a difficult time, pls remember not to give up ..Just Hang in there…you will soon find the purpose why the challenge was put before you